2015 has been a year divided. In the first half, I graduated high school, turned 18, and worked my ass off all summer at a job I hated. In the second half, I moved away from a home I loved but thought I needed to escape from, settled for a college I didn’t love, and regretted both of those things.
I figured things out– about what I like and don’t like, about my ambitious for the future, about which friends I can rely on and which ones I can’t.
Not that everything that happened was bad, of course. Even though I don’t (approaching hate) like Philadelphia, I managed to pull together a 4.0 GPA (and even though my sister tries to pull down this achievement every chance she gets, I’m still proud of it). Graduating high school and the week leading up to the ceremony was one of the best weeks of my entire life. Over the summer I grew closer to some friends and apart from others, which was for the best. I read 30 books this year, surpassing my goal of 27.
In the second half of 2015 I’ve been largely more productive and motivated than I ever have been. While I’ve been home over Christmas I haven’t been writing because I thought I needed a break. From writing, from everything. I think, now, that I was wrong. Writing is what I love and being productive, working, makes me feel good.
A huge influence on 2015 has been Casey Neistat. Some of you may know him, some may not. He’s a Youtube vlogger and filmmaker who puts out an amazing new video everyday. He’s inspired me in so many different ways. Namely, to be brave. I’d like to share Thursday, December 30th’s video with you, because it’s relevant to how I’m currently feeling.
Casey and his wife and baby have been considering moving to LA from New York, a place they both love and have lived in most of their lives. They’re in LA for vacation, and in this video, Casey describes freaking out and realizing that he can’t leave New York yet.
I can relate. I’ve realized I don’t like Philadelphia, and have made the decision to transfer colleges. For a long time I was worried about making this public, telling my extended family, writing about it. And maybe it seems a bit strange to take advice from a total stranger, but isn’t that the beauty of Youtube? That we feel so close to creators? But Casey has made me realize that it’s okay to fall in love with a place and to want to live there for years and years. Philadelphia is not my home, New England is, and Boston is my city. I love it there, and I was a fool to ever leave.
This post is quite spontaneous. Until an hour ago, I was still planning on not writing until I got back to school. I just decided to write down everything that was running through my head as this year, this strange and wonderful year, comes to a close.